We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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