we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
