I'd wear matching sweaters with you
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
