My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
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