saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize