There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
