glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
