Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
