He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Rumble strips road head = magical
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
