summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
