I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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