When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
