why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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