I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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