Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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