what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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