bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Randomize
