You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
