Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
