I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
