whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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