I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
