he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
