This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
