Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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