Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
