just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Randomize
