Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize