every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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