I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Randomize
