thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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