Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
