oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Everclear isn't food dammit
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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