How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
