did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
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