you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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