Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Randomize
