margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
nutella sex= disaster
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
