I think I just saw someone hide a body.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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