my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
