If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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