I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
