drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
