singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
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