whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Randomize
