Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
