I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
