no, he came in my armpit
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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