i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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