if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
