I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
