you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
