what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.