I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Ambien. No doubt about it.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
