Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
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he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
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I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.