Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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