i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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