It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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