Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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