i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
