My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
