dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize