You're so nebulous sometimes
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
