Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
