What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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