Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize
