Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
