real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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