The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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